You know that rush you feel when you finally organize the garage, living room, or another space that looks like it was hit by a category 5 hurricane or massive tornado? You feel accomplished, proud, and calm. Believe it or not, you can get the same high from organizing your emotions.
Let’s Label Some Feelings
Life, work, and relationships all come with their little aggravations and annoyances, which put their strain on us. In order to keep these emotions from damaging our relationships, it’s important to confront them head on. That means not pushing it down or setting it aside to be “dealt with later” (because we all know what that means), but actually addressing it in the moment. So label it! As strange as that may sound, experts say that labeling your emotions is a great method of acknowledging them without giving in to them at the same time.
According to a recent study, 1 in 10 people have trouble identifying their emotions.
Instead of saying, ‘I am angry,’ say, ‘This is anger’ or, ‘This is anxiety,’” says Toni Parker, a therapist with the Gottman Institute. “In this way, you’re acknowledging its presence, while simultaneously empowering you to remain detached from it.” By the way, we’re not advising you say this out loud. You’d probably get some strange looks if your partner heard you say “This is frustration” out loud. BUT, you can distinguish the emotions in your mind and better understand how you’re reacting if you know what you’re feeling first.
Get To The Root Of It
In order to label your emotions, experts say that it’s important to expand the range of your emotional vocabulary. So, for example, if you’re feeling stressed, dig deeper and identify that stress and how it manifests itself. Is it anxiety? Anger? Confusion or vulnerability? Are you worried about something? What is it? The more you widen the pool of labels for your emotions, the better you can dig down to the root of what’s actually causing it. The more you can get to the root of what is causing your stress (maybe it’s something your partner is saying or doing), the faster you can stop grappling with your emotions and start confronting your problems.